In case you missed them, here are the sound bytes for the previous .wav spotlights:
Caroline In the City
Debra Jo was featured as one of AOL's "Mystery Celebrities" for their trademark soundbytes:
"Welcome" | "You've Got Mail" | "Goodbye"
Below you will find some of our most favourite crazy things Debra Jo has said while playing some of her more kooky characters. If any great ones come to mind that you don't see on here, send them to us!
THAT '70S SHOW ("KITTY")
"Honey, ya gotta stop eating stuff off the floor!"
"Ya know what's beautiful? Fruitecake. All the different-colored little fruits living together in one cake."
"You know what's ridiculous is giving your mother our phone number!"
"We should teach him a lesson. So when he comes home I'll hold him down and you burn him with a cigarette!"
"There is plenty of time later to get a job, to grind the joy out of your life..."
"Honey, pretty girls do not throw up."
"I can't hear you, Eric, I'm ironing! Lalalalala..."
"No! This day is not over! I wanted you to have a nice birthday. You know, sometimes birthdays are not just about you. They are about the people around you who want you to have a nice birthday. So - it's about me! NOW YOU GET DOWNSTAIRS AND YOU GET THOSE PANTS OFF, MISTER!!!"
"Do crafts, not drugs."
"Oh honey, you know I love you and your sister equally. But if you ever get an opportunity again, for God's sake, pull the trigger!"
"Speaking of friends, how are your four cats?"
LAURIE: "Ugh! Sometimes I hate you!"
KITTY: "Well, that's too bad because I love you! [mumbling] ...because I HAVE to..."
"You can't live in a bus, there's no toilet!"
"Secrets cause cancer."
"Did it ever occur to you that I might enjoy a passionate manhandling in a public place???"
Oh, wonderful! I started out in God's Magic Circle and ended up in Satan's Evil Square. I don't see how any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames!"
PAULA: "Kitty, would you like a makeover?"
KITTY: "Oh yes, I really would! I won't...look like a whore, will I?"
"Oh honey, were your father and I having intercourse?"
"He is not drunk, he just is not feeling well!"
"Now is not the time to be a porky-mouth."
"Oh, you shut your porky mouth, mister!"
"Oh. Okay, fine. I see Mr. Smiley isn't in town today."
"Well, you know I love my family. It's just sometimes I wanna get in the car and run 'em all over!"
KITTY: "Red, you should go talk to him."
RED: "What? Why me?"
KITTY: "Well, because I don't really know how to mend a broken heart. I've never been dumped."
RED: "Oh, I don't believe that."
KITTY: "Why not?!"
RED: "Well there are certain things about you that are annoying. ....that other people might not have been as tolerant of."
KITTY: "You're BALD!"
"Red, I am not drunk. I am upset. And DRUNK."
RED: "Where are you going with my breakfast?"
KITTY: "To Bob and Donna's. When your wife or mother leaves you, you need a good breakfast!"
RED: "But I need a good breakfast."
KITTY: "Well I didn't leave you, EAT A POP TART!!!"
"Red, he looks fine, he's just SO DARN STUPID!!!"
[drunk] "Pricemart has WONDERFUL balls."
RED: "Good morning, Sunshine! What's for breakfast?"
KITTY: "A funnel."
"Just because they're hobos doesn't mean they don't respond to herbs and spices!"
"Honey, it's breakfast. Don't ask me questions."
"Bad people should have a big scar or an eye patch so you can recognize them.
"This is my reunion, I'm the prettiest one here."
[**Click here to listen to more hilarious Kitty soundbytes!**]
THE JEFF FOXWORTHY SHOW ("GAYLE")
MOTHER: "So, Gayle, how are things in Minnesota?"
GAYLE: "Oh you know... It snows, Dennis works, most days I feel like firebombing the Mall of America..."
"Okay, here's what I wanna know - is it wrong to say 'X-mas' and is Dennis a big anal jerk?"
GAYLE: "Oh God, maybe you shouldn't have set this up. I haven't been on a date in sixteen years!"
KAREN: "Oh, it'll be fine. Mike's a great guy. You know, he's sweet and honest..."
GAYLE: "Sweet and honest sucks."
GAYLE: "Okay...so what do you think?"
KAREN: "About what?"
GAYLE: "My breasts. They're out. I mean I haven't shown this much cleavage since... well, since ever!"
KAREN: "You know what you might wanna do? Go out and get one of those Wonder Bras."
GAYLE: "I'm wearing one!"
"Well, hey, sometimes people act out of character. Sometimes the pressures of being perfect start piling up on top of you until you can't breathe. And suddenly you find yourself on a date wearing a Wonder Bra that doesn't do a damn bit of good!"
MATT: "Oh good, Aunt Gayle's back! I was getting tired of sleeping in my own bed..."
GAYLE: "You know, your Aunt Gayle is only going to be here for the next 24 to 48 hours because Aunt Gayle is spreading her wings and finding her own nest."
MOTHER: "Dear, you're talking about yourself in the Third Person."
GAYLE: "Was she?"
KAREN: "Dad, are you alright?"
GAYLE: "Is everything okay at home?"
DAD: "I don't care to discuss it. It's between your mother and me."
GAYLE: "She's dying; all she asked me for was a grandchild."
DAD: "She's not dying..."
GAYLE: "Well, then I wish that woman would stop harping about a kid!!!"
JERRY: "Oh, hi Katie."
KATIE: "You found the airport alright?"
JERRY: "Yes, I followed the planes."
KATIE: "I see you're having coffee... Just so you know, they also have de-caff as well, and I talked to the hostess - they'll also be serving coffee on the plane, along with a selection of cocktails and..."
JERRY: [interrupting] "Thanks! Thanks for telling me."
KATIE: "Jerry, listen - just so you know, before we take off, they're going to tell us what to do in the event of a crash."
JERRY: "Yes, I know. I've flown before."
KATIE: "Oh, good, I just didn't want you to freak out.
KATIE: "It's a pretty full house, the lighting guy's name is Lou, he's got a birthday next week..."
JERRY: "Yeah, I don't care."
KATIE: "By the way Jerry, I don't want you to freak out, but the pilot is going to be in the audience."
KATIE: "Remember the plane we took here? The pilot is going to be sitting out there watching the show."
JERRY: "I, I don't care! Why are you telling me this?"
KATIE: "I just didn't want you to freak out when you saw him."
KATIE: "It didn't go very well, did it?"
JERRY: "No it didn't, and you know why? Seeing that pilot in the audience REALLY freaked me out!"
KATIE: "I knew it."
JERRY: "If you hadn't mentioned anything, I woulda been fine! I became OBSESSED with him!"
KATIE: "Why did I invite him?! Stupid, stupid! When he asked for tickets, I shoulda said NO. I'm gonna go chew him out!"
KATIE: "There's a flight leaving at 8:00 and another leaving at 8:30, which one do you want?"
JERRY: "Which one do you think I want?"
KATIE: "The 8 will get you in a little earlier!"
JERRY: "Then we'll make it the 8."
KATIE: "I'll pick a hotel. Do you want a standard room or a mini suite?"
KATIE: "Yeah, it's 8 in the morning."
JERRY: "No no no, I have to get home tonight! Rent a car."
KATIE: "Midsize, luxury, or sports model, what's your preference?"
JERRY: [immensely irritated] "I don't have a preference, okay?! Just make a decision yourself! Alright? Stop bothering me with every minor detail."
KATIE: "Okaaaay. You're the BIG celebrity."
JERRY: "Where are we?"
KATIE: "I'm not sure."
JERRY: "Is this even a road?"
KATIE: "Oh, we lost the road a half hour ago."
JERRY: "What?! Well, why didn't you wake me up?"
KATIE: "You told me not to bother you with minor details."
JERRY: "No road is a MAJOR detail!"
KATIE: "Okay, now I know. Should I keep going or turn around, do you have a preference?"
JERRY: "Look out!!!" [crash]
CAROLINE IN THE CITY ("MELODY")
MELODY: [annoyed] "I am curling a ribbon, Richard!"
RICHARD: "There was a wrapped teddy bear here before. Where is it?"
MELODY: "Did it have a peacock-blue hold slip with it?"
RICHARD: "I don't know what kind of bird it had with it."
MELODY: "Well, if you can't remember whether it had a hold slip or not, how could I possibly know where it is?"
RICHARD: "Because your entire life is gift-wrapping, Melody, and if you don't know where a gift is, doesn't that make your whole life a fraud?"
MELODY: "You're falling in love with me, aren't you?"
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES (herself, obviously)
TOM: "Compared to other US presidents, Clinton has reserved more land in the lower 48 states for WHAT?"
DEB: "Motel 6's."
"See, I'm getting all these 70's questions but....I wasn't entirely AWARE in the 70's, so it's hard....."
TOM: "Among the first words uttered on this classic late-night TV series were 'And now for something completely different'. The show was what?"
TOM: "According to a woman's magazine, the biggest mistake people make when moving is wrapping breakable items THIS way; how?"
DEB: "All liquored up."
TOM: "In its heyday the MGM movie studio billed itself as having 'more stars than there are' WHERE?"
DEB: "In rehab."
TOM: "Research shows that, what is the better way to deal with stress - working out at the gym, or laying around relaxing?"
DEB: "How 'bout laying around with a GUY named Jim?"
TOM: "Marth Stewart says it is essential that you clean THESE on a regular basis to enable them to breed. Clean what?"
DEB: "Your children!"
TOM: "Dr. Joyce Brothers says certain studies show that if men cry often enough, THIS happens to their chests - what?"
DEB: "They RUST."
TOM: "Does the book 'The World's Best-Kept Beauty Secrets' say sex is GOOD or BAD for your complexion?"
DEB: "Oh my God, that's what my dermatologist was talking about over drinks! ...Well I'm thinking it has to be good because it's---because GOD, it would just be very messy if there was just like ACNE EVERYWHERE, right?!"
TOM: "What famous person said the best way to resist temptation is to yield to it?"
DEB: "That would be Bill Clinton."
TOM: "In the 'Fantastic Four,' what lucky lady was married to Mr. Fantastic?"
DEB: "Mrs. HAPPY BEYOND BELIEF!"